Showing posts with label Coming Apart. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Coming Apart. Show all posts

Thursday, May 3, 2018

Class, Culture, and Moving Upward


I mentioned the other day that I’ve been reading J. D. Vance’s memoir, Hillbilly Elegy. It’s been on my reading list since late 2016, when it made a stir by explaining why so many people who used to vote reliably Democrat voted for Donald Trump.

I heard about the book when the author gave an Uncommon Knowledge interview. What interested me wasn’t so much the explanation for Trump voters, although that’s interesting. But it explains the value of social capital, and most particularly the value of strong families.

J. D. Vance (right), screen shot from Uncommon Knowledge


I appreciate Vance’s ability to identify the social and psychological issues, with a clear, insider’s view of what policies haven’t worked and why. By the end of his Marine Corps service, he was politically conservative. And life—if you can understand it from the inside—probably leads naturally to that viewpoint.

What surprised me much more than I expected about the book is how much his story resonates with me personally. So I’m working through that too.

But I’d like to share a few of Vance’s insights, because I think it’s another support of the Spherical Model, with the political, economic, and social spheres all interrelated.

In his late teen years, J. D. worked at a local grocery store. He handled plenty of people on welfare, and gained some insights:

I also learned how people gamed the welfare system. They’d buy two dozen-packs of soda with food stamps and then sell them at a discount for cash. They’d ring up their orders separately, buying food with food stamps, and beer, wine, and cigarettes with cash. They’d regularly go through the checkout line speaking on their cell phones. I could never understand why our lives felt like a struggle while those living off of government largesse enjoyed trinkets that I only dreamed about.
Mamaw [his grandmother] listened intently to my experiences at Dillman’s. We began to view much of our fellow working class with mistrust. Most of us were struggling to get by, but we made do, worked hard, and hoped for a better life. But a large minority was content to live off the dole. Every two weeks, I’d get a small paycheck and notice the line where federal and state income taxes were deducted from my wages. At least as often, our drug-addict neighbor would buy T-bone steaks, which I was too poor to buy for myself but was forced by Uncle Sam to buy for someone else. This was my mind-set when I was seventeen, and though I’m far less angry today than I was then, it was my first indication that the policies of Mamaw’s “party of the working man”—the Democrats—weren’t all they were cracked up to be (pp. 418-420)[i].
He adds in some outside commentary at this point:

Political scientists have spent millions of words trying to explain how Appalachia and the South went from staunchly Democratic to staunchly Republican in less than a generation. Some blame race relations and the Democratic Party’s embrace of the civil rights movement. Others cite religious faith and the hold that social conservatism has on evangelicals in that region. A big part of the explanation lies in the fact that many in the white working class saw precisely what I did, working at Dillman’s. As far back as the 1970s, the white working class began to turn to Richard Nixon because of a perception that, as one man put it, government was “payin’ people who are on welfare today doin’ nothin’! They’re laughin’ at our society! And we’re all hardworkin’ people and we’re getting’ laughed at for workin’ every day!”[ii]
He goes on to share a bit more of Mamaw’s seemingly contradictory feelings—more like “those hateful Republicans” than the Democrat voter she was:
Hillbilly Elegy
cover image


She’d rant against people we’d see in the grocery store: “I can’t understand why people who’ve worked all their lives scrape by while these deadbeats buy liquor and cell phone coverage with our tax money.”
These were bizarre views for my bleeding-heart grandma. And if she blasted the government for doing too much one day, she’d blast it for doing too little the next….
Mamaw’s sentiments occupied wildly different parts of the political spectrum. Depending on her mood, Mamaw was a radical conservative or a European-style social Democrat…. I began to see the world as Mamaw did. I was scared, confused, angry, and heartbroken. I’d blame large businesses for closing up shop and moving overseas, and then I’d wonder if I might have done the same thing. I’d curse our government for not helping enough, and then I’d wonder if, in its attempts to help, it actually made the problem worse (pp. 223-227).
Even though he wasn’t much of a student in his teen years, he was a curious reader. This section strikes a chord with me:

I consumed books about social policy and the working poor. One book in particular, a study by eminent sociologist William Julius Wilson called The Truly Disadvantaged, struck a nerve. I was sixteen the first time I read it, and though I didn’t fully understand it all, I grasped the core thesis. As millions migrated north to factory jobs, the communities that sprouted up around those factories were vibrant but fragile: When the factories shut their doors, the people left behind were trapped in towns and cities that could no longer support such large populations with high-quality work. Those who could—generally the well educated, wealthy, or well connected—left, leaving behind communities of poor people. These remaining folks were the “truly disadvantaged”—unable to find good jobs on their own and surrounded by communities that offered little in the way of connections or social support.
Wilson’s book spoke to me. I wanted to write him a letter and tell him that he had described my home perfectly. That it resonated so personally is odd, however, because he wasn’t writing about the hillbilly transplants from Appalachia—he was writing about black people in the inner cities. The same was true of Charles Murray’s seminal Losing Ground, another book about black folks that could have been written about hillbillies—which addressed the way our government encouraged social decay through the welfare state (pp. 432-434).
Charles Murray’s book Coming Apart talks about some of the same issues, although more generically about the poor and their behavior that keeps them from social and economic mobility, rather than about blacks in particular. The wealthiest zip codes live a certain way, morally, but they don’t seem to dare share those secrets with the working poor.

Vance continues:

It would be years before I learned that no single book, or expert, or field could fully explain the problems of hillbillies in modern America. Our elegy is a sociological one, yes, but it is also about psychology and community and culture and faith (p. 435).
In Vance’s case, he manages to graduate from high school, spend four years in the Marines, graduate from Ohio State, and then Yale Law School.

It turns out that, for someone of his income level, Yale Law School is not only a better education, but a cheaper option than anything else he might have tried. They have needs-based financial aid available just for such cases. But students like him have no way to know that. As he says, “That first year at Yale taught me most of all that I didn’t know how the world worked” (p. 626).

An earlier example is the picture of him and his grandmother, near the end of his high school years, trying to fill out financial aid forms, being asked about his father’s income. But his legal father had been totally absent from his life for over a decade. Obviously, the form wanted to know what other resources the student had, and clearly his father wasn’t a resource. But, to them, puzzling through something they have no experience with, they’re trying to figure out how to get this unknowable piece of information in order to comply to the powers that be.

This was so familiar to me. Back in junior high (7th-9th grades) I was earning straight As, but at that point in my life, I was completely unaware that there was any possibility I could ever go to college. The message I got was, people like us (i.e., lower-middle-class people like our family) don’t get those kinds of lives.

By 9th grade my friends planted the idea that, of course I could go to college; I just needed to get a scholarship. I thought that meant I had to be the one, smartest, highest GPA student in the high school, and once we combined with another junior high for high school, I didn’t believe that could be possible. (Fortunately, even when I thought that, I didn’t give up. Eventually I got scholarships—after filling out all the forms myself—that covered more than half my tuition, and I graduated, paying my own way through, without debt.)

When I asked about college at home, I was told, “Why would you want to do that? You’re just going to be a housewife.” And, “You’ll have to pay for that yourself, because we’re not paying for it.” Also, I wasn’t allowed to work unless my mother decided to be willing to drive me to and from—walking alone as a girl was not allowed. There was also a slightly more subtle, class-based discouragement: “People that go to college think they’re so smart. They just want to look down on people.”

There’s a lot about my story that is simply about my mother’s psychological issues. But some of the discouragement stems from a lower-middle-class farm and labor environment. I’ve wondered about the Scots-Irish connection, which does appear in that family line. But I think it’s more a matter of living without the understanding of what’s possible.

Vance talks a little bit about solutions—and the difficulty of finding them:

People sometimes ask whether I think there’s anything we can do to “solve” the problems of my community. I know what they’re look for: a magical public policy solution or an innovative government program. But these problems of family, faith, and culture aren’t like a Rubik’s Cube, and I don’t think that solutions (as most understand the term) really exist. A good friend, who worked for a time in the White House and cares deeply about the plight of the working class, once told me, “The best way to look at this might be to recognize that you probably can’t fix these things. They’ll always be around. But maybe you can put your thumb on the scale a little for the people at the margins.”
There were many thumbs put on my scale. When I look back at my life, what jumps out is how many variables had to fall in pace in order to give me a chance (p. 711-712).
In his favor were his grandparents’ constancy. And, among the “revolving door of would-be father figures,” at least his mother never chose abusive men. There was his sister, his aunt and uncle, good teachers, and friends.

Remove any of these people from the equation, and I’m probably screwed. Other people who have overcome the odds cite the same sorts of interventions.
He lists several. Here’s what they had in common:

They had a family member they could count on. And they saw—from a family friend, an uncle, or a work mentor—what was available and what was possible (p. 721).
I’ve often discussed with my husband the people I was surrounded by that made a difference in my life. As I’ve written before, I grew up in Utah, at a time when the community was pretty safe, and families were large and strong. Despite the message I got from home that the happy successful world wasn’t available to someone like me, I had teachers and friends, and mentors from church, who told me otherwise.

I was also blessed that, because we were Mormon, there was no drinking in our house. The most negative person in my life was always sober. And I had examples all around me of people living the lives of civilization to good effect.

While there was a lot of discouragement and uncomfortable angst in my home (and probably less verbal expression of love than J. D. had), I wasn’t in a neighborhood that kept my possibilities limited. Until quite recently, I didn’t recognize how different my growing up experience was from so many friends around me; when you’re a fish swimming in the water, you don’t realize you’re wet. I see now that I was lucky to have gone on to thrive. That thumb was on the scale for me.

As Vance points out about the results of one study, “I wasn’t surprised that Mormon Utah—with its strong church, integrated communities, and intact families—wiped the floor with Rust Belt Ohio” (p. 724).

The problems Vance sees with his community, and maybe other similar poverty pockets, aren’t really about programs. As he says, “the fault lies almost entirely with factors outside the government’s control. It’s what happens at home” (p. 731).

Here’s Vance’s conclusion:

As a cultural emigrant form one group to the other, I am acutely aware of their differences. Sometimes I view members of the elite with an almost primal scorn….But I have to give it to them. Their children are happier and healthier, their divorce rates lower, their church attendance higher, their lives longer” (p. 752).
That’s the message we need to find a way to share with anyone who’s willing to hear it.


[i] I used an e-reader edition, which identified page numbers when I saved my notes. However, the print edition is listed as having 288 pages, so my page numbering seems to relate more to location within the book than to actual pages. It looks like there are around 770 digital pages.
[ii] Rick Perlstein, Nixonland: The Rise of a President and the Fracturing of America (New York: Scribner, 2008

Monday, July 29, 2013

Family Superpower

I spend a lot of time with youth and young adult literature. Many of these feature young people with special powers, or at least special skills: magic (Harry Potter), electrical powers (Michael Vey), psychic control of objects (Freakling), wind (The Goose Girl), archery and strategy (Ranger’s Apprentice and Hunger Games). A young person goes about life thinking he/she is normal, or even less than normal, and then gets thrust into extraordinary circumstances that require using the newly discovered special skills.

There’s something fairly positive in the message that everyone has value, and everyone is important and special in some way. You just need to find your talent/purpose/superpower to benefit mankind.
I have been considering the idea that, in the ordinary real world we live in, some of us have significant advantages, just because of a connection to what has for millennia been ordinary: growing up in an intact, loving family.
The social data continues to grow, all of it showing advantages to children raised in intact families with married mother and father. I’ve written about the value of family, mothers, fathers, and marriage many times (a good starting list is in the April 23, 2012 post “More on Marriage”). I’ve written a few times (see “Family Ties to Economics” December7, 2012) about the well-established formula for preventing poverty:
1.         Don’t have sex before age 20.
2.         Don’t have sex until after marriage.
3.         Stay married.
4.         Obtain at least a high school diploma.
But what if there is an additional formula, not just for avoiding poverty, but for likely greater success? Last year I wrote  about Charles Murray’s book Coming Apart, which described four founding principles: industriousness, honesty, marriage, and religion. These were agreed upon as essential virtues by all the founders. They are agreed on as virtues today generally in the most successful areas (Murray referred to them as the SuperZips, identifying certain zip codes). The upper middle class adheres to these principles, and is thereby perpetuating success generation after generation, while lower middle class and lower class areas (by income and education) lack religious commitment, intact families, honesty, and all the behaviors that prevent decay.
As I write about at the Spherical Model, the answer to greater success is what it has always been for thriving civilization: strictly live the civilizing principles (essentially the Ten Commandments) and value family. Family is the way the civilizing principles pass from generation to generation. Schools can’t do it, especially without the support of the home. Government can’t do it. Without family, even the churches can’t do it.
I have a story, from almost two decades ago, that shows the passing on of the values. It was when our second son was in I believe fifth grade (still in public school at that point), and they were going through the first iteration of basic sex education. I had been to the school and reviewed the curriculum and talked with the school nurse ahead of time. While I would have preferred handling this entirely at home, this was before I became a homeschooler, and I felt satisfied with the way the school was teaching the information (family values included in that rather civilized corner of the country). Economic Sphere, as he frequently did, was excited about new information, and started a series of “did you know…” quiz questions when he got home. One of the surprising pieces of information was that children could be born even when their parents weren’t married. So we had a teaching moment.
Back in the day, our boys learning
superpower skills from their dad
At that time there was a young woman from our church, age 17, I think, who got pregnant and was going through the natural consequences. She was repentant, and wanted to repair her life and set things right. The young man was going off to college in another state, and they realized they did not want to be married. So she worked through the possibility of giving up the baby for adoption, a difficult decision for a young woman. Consulting with her parents, she concluded that placing the child with a married couple who had the same religious beliefs as her family would be best for the baby.
Even with that best-case scenario, the decision was heartbreaking. Then it was made more so when the young man’s parents insisted that, if she was going to give up the baby, they would adopt it, because letting go of a grandchild was unacceptable. In that state, they had the right to override the mother’s decision about who should get to adopt her child. She didn’t want them to raise her child; they might be loving grandparents, but they hadn’t done so well at raising the baby’s father, and she really wanted her child raised in her religion. So she chose to keep the child.
She had loving parents who helped out for several years, allowing her to live with them as needed while she went through nursing school so she could support herself and the child. At the time of the conversation with my son, the decision was made to keep the child, and I believe the child had been born. Economic Sphere and I talked about how the child would be surrounded by people who loved him: both parents would be involved, and all four grandparents. But that child would never have the opportunity to live in a home with both parents at the same time.
It was a major “aha” moment. The starkness of that lack of both parents in the home was very clear—and practically unthinkable. Any child could see that you need both a father and a mother. No other arrangement fills the child’s needs.
Because of the way we lived, and because of the clarity of contrast, we had that opportunity to pass along essential values to a son at a young age—so the decision about risky behavior was made years before teenage hormones could interfere with the brain. That is the power of families. Teaching moments like that come up day by day through the years, continually building the power.
I don’t want single mothers and fathers to feel worse about their situation. They may want the best for their children as much as married mothers and fathers. And there is nothing that says they can’t succeed. There is simply the fact that the odds are against them. Church, neighborhoods, community organizations like sports leagues and scouts can help make up for deficits in single parent families. But only if the social capital cost isn’t overwhelming. In the better neighborhoods, the SuperZips that Charles Murray illustrates, the few exceptions to intact families are easily floated aloft with the strong families. But in the already struggling neighborhoods, there’s not enough social capital to make up for the overwhelming deficit.
The idea that a marriage can always break up if things get tough is a tempting escape. One of the strongest incentives to work on a marriage and make it better comes from growing up in families that stayed together. I find myself feeling grateful that all three of my children married people who came from such families. Mr. Spherical Model and I both came from such parents. And grandparents. And great-grandparents. Our tradition of lasting families is not a guarantee that families will always last, but it is an extra power.
If you want to give your children even more power, practically a superpower in today’s world, save sex for marriage; choose wisely who to marry, stay married forever, and take your children to church with you. And then let your children know the value of the gift you’re giving them, so they will value it in the generations to come.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Formula for Success

There is a formula for avoiding poverty in America:

1.      Don’t have sex before age 20.
2.      Don’t have sex until after marriage.
3.      Stay married
4.      Obtain at least a high school diploma.
I first wrote down this formula back in 2001, in the notes I took at a lecture by Richard Wilkins, who was then a co-founder of the World Congress of Families, and is now head of the Doha International Institute for Family Studies and Development. I’ve come across the list a number of times since, and included it in a post last April 4th. The formula, along with lots of backup data, have risen in public awareness lately due to the latest book by Charles Murray: ComingApart: The State of White America, 1960-2010. (The book was mentioned by Newt Gingrich in Wednesday's presidential debate in Arizona.)
Murray tends to write about data in a way that stirs up a hornets nest. This was true with The Bell Curve in the 1990s, and to some extent with Real Education a few years ago. While I don’t always agree with his analysis, his wealth of data is always enlightening.
This book looks at class differences in whites in America to avoid differences related to race; it’s not a racist treatment, but rather a way to look at differences aside from race. Looking only at whites, then, is a statistical control. What he finds is that there are some rather surprising differences between the newer wealthy and the stuck lower classes. There are many aspects of the growing divide that may be worth talking about another day (when I have finished reading the book), including a separation that makes the leader class more and more out of touch with the lesser classes. But today what interests me is the social formula so many of the wealthier are using. This summary comes in the article “Charles Murray’s Book of Virtues,” by Heather Wilhelm, February 2nd:
In the new upper class, which amounts to about 20 percent of the country, out-of-wedlock births are rare: around 6-8 percent. For the more dysfunctional working class, which accounts for around 30 percent of the country, the number is mind-boggling: 42-48 percent. The numbers also turn a few stereotypes on their heads: In the lower working class, for instance, the rate of church attendance has dropped at nearly double the rate as that of the supposedly secularized elite.
America's working class, Coming Apart argues, has increasingly forsaken traditional values like marriage, religion, industriousness, and honesty—and, as a result, it is rotting from within. Happiness levels are down; participation in the labor force is down; television watching (an average of 35 hours a week) is up.
In short, those who have discovered the value of living the laws of civilization (as we outline at SphericalModel.com, keeping the Ten Commandments and valuing and protecting family as the basic unit of society) find themselves not only living a happier and more satisfying civilized life, but they enjoy economic prosperity and greater opportunity to participate in political leadership.
By several measures the Spherical Model family is in that top 20%. And we do indeed live the laws that lead naturally to prosperity rather than poverty. But unlike the subject of much of the book, we don’t feel distant from the less prosperous; we are very willing to share the formula, rather than isolate ourselves.
So, with something of a proselytizing spirit, let me share some comparison data: Only 10% of children in two-parent families live in poverty. But 50% of children living with a single mother live in poverty.[*] This is not intended to make struggling single mothers feel worse about their situation. Their burden is tough enough. But we need to recognize that accepting single parenthood as an equally valuable situation as a two-parent home is not only inaccurate but harmful. We must not encourage more problems for more people by subsidizing them.
Churches and local charities are a much better way of helping than the awkwardly broad brush of government. Locally, someone with social skills can work with the person in need to encourage living the civilization formula: no more sex outside of marriage; find ways to improve skills to become more self-sufficient; supplement the parent with community help (scouting, youth sports coaches, and other family serving auxiliaries), so that the deficits inherent in the single parent’s situation are mitigated, and the next generation is aimed toward more economically rewarding civilization, rather than being trapped in perpetual poverty patterns.
Poverty doesn’t have to be permanent. But the way out is much more likely to come by living the formula the successful use, rather than following the pattern that has so consistently led to poverty. Success won’t necessarily come instantaneously, but it can come within a single additional generation.


[*] Craig H. Hart, Ph.D., “Combating the Myth that Parents Don’t Matter,” address delivered at the World Congress of Families II, Geneva, Switerzerland, available online at www.worldcongress.org.