Door Approaches

There’s a comedy video I saw once where a guy has some rather clever responses to telemarketers, which waste their time and thereby get them to discontinue calling. But most important is that the responses are clever.

When I heard about Biden’s plan to send US government workers door-to-door to persuade people to get the vaccine, I thought it might be a good idea to prepare a clever door answering approach. Other people have been coming up with some possibilities.

There’s this one, posted on my friend Alan Vera's FB wall with the caption, "Day 1 of the door-to-door white house vaccination canvass!!"

from Alan Vera's Facebook wall

And this one, posted by my friend Mark Ramsey, who said it was on a friend's door when they went to visit and gave them a good laugh:

from Mark Ramsey's Facebook wall

And this funny’s guy’s short video of a door-to-door team's supervisor advice:

screenshot from video shared on Facebook
by friend Tina Riddle

And I liked this cartoon by Lisa Benson, from Saturday, July 10, 2021: 

 

What about things to say? I’m probably not the best source for clever/funny answers. But I am thinking about it. There’s a claim by the government that they do not have and maintain a database of who has received the shots. But they fail to clearly say that they will not access such a database made available to them. So maybe there’s a way to challenge that.

The people come to your door and give their persuasive spiel. And you say:

Now, why in the world would the database show me as still needing the vaccine?

It’s likely that the people at your door know very little beyond the script given to them. And they go where they’re told. So, do they know whether there’s a database? I don’t know. If they’re going to targeted houses, rather than every residence, then they should know there’s a database being used. If they answer with, “OK, I’ll make sure that information get’s reported,” you can say, “So you’re verifying that I am in a database?” and they’re stuck. Or if you say, “You do that,” you’ve gotten the database to mark you as vaccinated without your actually saying anything definitively stating that you are.

Another door approach is the overly friendly religious welcome. No matter what they say, fail to address their question about your vaccination, but ask them, “So, do you go to church? Are you interested in some reading materials about my church?” And engage them as long as they’re willing—because, if you’re like me, that’s a conversation you really would enjoy. If they’re not interested in anything but a vaccine conversation, you’ll know that pretty quickly, because they’ll excuse themselves.

If they are wearing masks, ask, “So you haven’t been vaccinated yet?” They likely will say they have been, because it’s probably required for the job. Ask, “Then why are you wearing a mask? Outside? Social distanced? What’s the point of getting a vaccine if it doesn’t even help?” You’ll get a long spiel for asking that question, though.

You could respond to that with a portfolio of data you’ve put together to neutralize each point they might bring up. These might include:

·         “We’ve never before been pressured to risk a medical intervention on ourselves for the sake of the rest of society rather than for ourselves.”

·         “The disease is very low risk for anyone under 65—and miniscule for anyone under 40, and is highly treatable with low-cost, safe medicines. A reaction to the vaccine is more likely in the young—and not easily treatable.”

·         “Regardless of what you say about the safety and efficacy of this vaccine,’ you don’t have me sign an actual 15-page experimental release form that spells out the risks I’m taking; you pressure me to sign away my rights to indemnify the producers, so if something happens to me, they’ll be protected—but I won’t.”

·         “Here are the VAERS reports, as of today. No other medical intervention with that kind of track record has ever been left on the market—but you’re going door-to-door to peddle it. Why should I believe you instead of the data?”

·         “The data shows that the pandemic spread is over. The Houston Chronicle just stopped providing the daily “Coronavirus at a Glance,” because there’s no longer a public need for easy access to that data. We seem to have gotten through it with the number of people who have had the disease and those who’ve already been vaccinated—so we don’t really have a need for anyone else to get vaccinated.”     

My puppy, at 7 months. 
Her nickname is Destroyer of Worlds.

My guess is that, with millions of people to contact, I will not likely see someone at my door. And if such a person did come, what is the likelihood I will be home at that moment? And if I’m home, what if I’m busy and don’t go to the door? Or if I do answer, I won’t be able to converse because my very large puppy is trying to break out—to get licks and pats from them, but her exuberance looks more scary than friendly. So, really, in itself, the door-to-door campaign isn’t a huge worry.

What is worrisome is that we have a government that thinks it’s a wise use of our tax dollars to track us down and pressure us to get an injection of what is an experimental drug—with multiple side-effect risks—and pushing it on low-risk individuals (young people) and no-risk individuals (people who have natural immunity from having the disease).

One thing is certain: they’re not doing this campaign because of concern for my health. They have a real reason, and it’s not good. I'm gathering more details on that, but I’ll save them for another day.