Last week I was driving home from the GOP Convention in Fort
Worth, which took even longer than it should have, because 40 miles out of
town, I realized my camera wasn’t with me. Failing all other options, I drove
the 40 miles back, was lucky enough to find a door open at the convention
center, and I walked past workers to me seat and found my camera (yay!). So it
was an extra-long drive. And the read-aloud feature on my Kindle crashed, so I
couldn’t get through the book I’d been in the middle of. Fortunately, I was in
the good car with satellite radio, and I tuned in to BYU Radio. The Matt
Townsend Show was on "Fathers and Daughters."
The discussion included an interview
with Dr. Meg Meeker, who wrote (among many books) Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know.
I couldn’t take notes, and I’m not
sure I heard a list, but one customer says it’s better than expected. Instead
of a prescription of what a father needs to do specifically, it’s ten specific
developmental needs a girl has that are best met by a healthy relationship with
a loving, involved father in her life. In other words, it’s the evidence that
what a father is doing is every bit as important, long-term, as it feels when
he holds in his arms for the first time.
In case that wasn’t convincing of the worth of fathering, a
recent study from social scientist Brad Wilcox
on the physiological transformations fathers
go through by parenting, called “Mother Bodies, Father Bodies.”
Female physiological changes from
becoming a mother are somewhat more obvious. But it turns out that some things
happen to dads as well, and for the most part they point men toward greater civilization. Men become better
human beings when the engage in good parenting.
 |
| Dr. Brad Wilcox |
In an interview
about the study at National Review Online, Dr. Wilcox said,
After kids come along, men are more likely to be engaged
civically in their communities in activities ranging from youth soccer to
church. Furthermore, they typically work harder and earn more money after they
become dads, provided that they live with the mother of their children. One
study found that “married, residential, biological fatherhood is associated
with wage gains of about 4 percent, but unmarried residential fathers,
nonresidential fathers, and stepfathers do not receive a fatherhood premium.”
So, men become more engaged at work and in civil society in the wake of
assuming the role of fatherhood.
Many of the outcomes of good fathering reinforce what
sociological studies have been showing for some time. Additionally,
though, Dr. Wilcox says having an involved father in the home actually leads to
better mothering from mothers—assuming the father is doing his job well. To reap that benefit, he
said, “It’s crucial for married fathers to do their best to be attentive,
affectionate, engaged in the practical work of the home, and thankful towards
their wives.”
He ended the interview, with this Father’s Day wish:
A simple and sincere “thank you” from his family is all that
many dads want this Father’s Day, I would say. It matters a lot for dads,
especially in a society where fathers are often belittled or minimized in the
popular culture, to have their sacrifices and love recognized and appreciated.
So, earlier in the day, our daughter, Social Sphere, posted
this daddy-daughter photo from her wedding day. There are plenty of stories to
tell, but in that photo is the evidence that Mr. Spherical Model has done the
daddy job pretty well.
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