Parents Bring about Civilization

The other day I saw a short clip of Andrew Klavan, mentioning again his suggestion that for every proposal government makes, they elected official then asks, “to keep us free,” as a test for whether the law does what it ought to do. [I can't re-find the 30-second clip I viewed, but this is a good recent one.] I used that suggestion in a piece last April, as an exercise, and found that the phrase is good at guiding us toward the proper role of government.

So I re-read that piece the other day. And it occurred to me: what if we come up with a similar test phrase concerning civilization principles?

There are two parts describing the hallmarks of civilization, according to the Spherical Model: one part is about honoring God, the grantor of our rights, and the other is about honoring family, the perpetuator of the principles. So it may be that a single phrase won’t cover all issues. But, for our experimental purposes today, I thought I’d try a family-based phrase:

We should_____, so that we can help parents raise civilized children.

Let’s give it a try.

·         We should disallow religious symbols on public property, so that we can help parents raise civilized children.

·         We should discourage voucher systems that allow tax money to follow students who could choose private or parochial school options, so that we can help parents raise civilized children.

·         We should use tax money to provide health clinics in high schools[*] that dispense birth control medicines and devices to minors without parental notification, so that we can help parents raise civilized children.

·         We should have our public schools teach alternative sexual lifestyle information, including graphic information at the high school level, with a difficult opt-out policy (or no opt-out), so that we can help parents raise civilized children.

·         We should make sure our schools have a no tolerance policy for bullying, combined with a refusal to teach “religious values,” so that we can help parents raise civilized children.

·         We should give special privileges, such as in college admission and in hiring practices, based on race rather than ability and character, so that we can help parents raise civilized children.

·         We should experimentally redefine marriage to equal “being in a sexual relationship with another consenting person at this time,” instead of the long-standing definition of “a husband and wife, permanently committed and faithful, who raise their own offspring together,” so that we can help parents raise civilized children.

·         We should encourage divorce whenever marriage is perceived by one or both married parties to interfere with personal happiness goals, rather than considering best circumstances for children, so that we can help parents raise civilized children.

·         We should always allow women the option of abortion, for any reason at any point in pregnancy, without imposing our personal values on that woman, so that we can help parents raise civilized children.

None of these make sense. They’re common “liberal” suggestions, but they do the opposite of helping parents civilize the upcoming generation. But if we turn some things around to actually help parents, we can see a different picture.

·         We should allow and offer as many educational options as can be invented, allowing parents to decide how and where their children will be educated, so that we can help parents raise civilized children.

·         We should encourage and honor religious practice such as prayer or displays of symbols, in public and private, remembering that God the Creator is the grantor of our inalienable rights and has offered direction for living civilized lives, so that we can help parents raise civilized children.

·         We should encourage individuals and families to donate time, money, and whatever they can offer to help those truly in need, encouraging hard work, self-reliance, and selfless service, so that we can help parents raise civilized children.

Not everyone is in a marriage or family situation, but everyone is affected by family strength in society. Whenever we look at the “social” issues, we can gain clarity by looking at the effect on parental rights and responsibilities. A majority of children born out of wedlock, outside the normal circumstances in which civilization and economic prosperity are perpetuated, is a drain on the resources and stamina of the successful providers.

We’ve been moving southward toward savagery for too long, with some visible, scary results. We need a change of direction, northward toward civilization. One successful family at a time.

I want to repeat a quote I used in June 2011, in a piece about an Orson Scott Card book in the Ender series. Valentine, Ender’s sister, has a conversation with Olhado [pronounced Ohl-yah-doo; the language is essentially Portuguese], one of Ender’s grown stepsons. Ender joined a very dysfunctional family in the previous book, and now 25 years have passed. The others all went into science fields, but Olhado is a brickyard foreman. When he was young, he had many philosophical ideas that no one listened to, so Valentine is coming now to get his opinions. He tells her what happened when Andrew [Ender] joined the family, and how it affected his life.

“I saw what Andrew did in our family. I saw that he came in and listened and watched us. He tried to discover our need and then supply it. He took responsibility for other people and it didn’t seem to matter to him how much it cost him. And in the end, while he could never make the Ribeira family normal, he gave us peace and pride and identity. Stability. He married Mother and was kind to her. He loved us all. He was always there when we wanted him, and seemed unhurt by it when we didn’t. He was firm with us about expecting civilized behavior, but never indulged his whims at our expense. And I thought: This is so much more important than science. Or politics, either. Or any particular profession or accomplishment or thing you can make. I thought: If I could just make a good family, if I could just learn to be to other children, their whole lives, what Andrew was, coming so late into ours, then that would mean more in the long run, it would be a finer accomplishment than anything I could ever do with my mind or my hands.” 

“So you’re a career father,” said Valentine. 

“Who works at a brick factory to feed and clothe the family. Not a brickmaker who also has kids…. 

“Jacqueline. My wife. She followed her own road to the same place. We do what we must to earn our place in the community, but we live for the hours at home. For each other, for the children. It will never get me written up in the history books…. It’s a boring life, to read about,” said Olhado. “Not to live, though.” (pp. 448-449, Xenocide) 

To be a good parent: not for the history books, but heroic nonetheless. It’s what makes for civilization when every other path fails. Whatever we do as a society, it should be with the purpose of helping parents perform this quietly powerful role.

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[*] Obamacare contains such a provision; you can read about it here.